Sunday, March 02, 2008

sometimes things make me feel like life is a fallacy. one big fat lie that all of us live in. i finally see what shakespear meant when he said life's a stage. all of us are merely actors, enjoying that short moment of lime light. deception, lies, betrayal and backstabbers, i tried desperately to avoid, but i guess there are times when somethings are always impossible to avoid. life always has two sides, & i guess i always focus on the negative parts more. sometimes when i stare at the positive parts i feel that shortlived happiness, then realise that ugly truths behind them. the higher u leap, the harder u fall. i guess, this time, i fall hard. very hard. in life, in grades, in everyone and in me. the promise i made to keep my damn mouth shut, still doesnt work. somehow i feel more obliged to keep it shut now. since everything i say isnt good, i must well shut it up.
attitude problems. i wont deny i dont have them. in fact i am pretty clear about it. but when i try to act as cheerful as i can talking about things that are random, people say that i am acting like a bitch and being fake. when i try to go away and keep my nose out of everything else, people say i ap them. then what the hell do you want me to do? jump of the builidng of cut myself, which i will gladly do so, if not for my parents. they say i act emo. well, newsflash, i AM emo. if you live a life like mine, maybe u will be too. & dont start on saying that you have a live worser than me. cuz i know you dont.i worked hard for everything i have. & i wont give them up just because you think u deserve them more. cuz i dont think so.

i haven given up the fight. i am just trying to protect people whom i now see dont deserve/ dont need my protection anymore. ending.


i seriously cant wait for the day i die.
god, can you please hurry up. i wanna meet you soon and complain about this damn life you have given me so i can get a better one next time.
PS. please make sure i die the right way.

Breaking the Habit!