Saturday, August 18, 2007

it's the weekend..AGAIN. been feeling emo this few days. should be getting a haircut to get rid of the emo-ness. had like 3 tests on thursday. only studied for chem. and didn't study everything. so i don't really know what to say about the tests. i know i will do badly, but for some reason, i don't care. not anymore. at the start of the year, i really had this insane thought that i must really get good grades. & i really studied. but now, even when i look the paper with a mere pass or a drastic fail, all i see in my mind is "i see". nothing else. just 2 simple and meaningless words. WHY?

training on friday was okay. didn't slack but still... i know if i really put my heart to it i can still improve. BY ALOT. cuz i know i haven lost that GODLY touch yet. but for what may i ask? when i hear of cca all i want to do is to go home and sleep. everyday when i wake up in the morning all i want to do is to go back into bed and sleep again. all i want to do is to never wake up. i don't deny, i am running away. from what? REALITY

i never seen myself as a weakling. no matter how badly beaten i am, no matter how many tears i have drop, i alwyas know that there is some part in me that is still determind,resolute and going strong. but i don't know now. i don't know if i am still strong. all i know is that i am shedding more tears for more ridiculous reason. they say you wisen with age. WHAT CRAP. does wisdom come with tears? i don't BLOODY think so. what am i? SOME RIDICULOUS PIECE OF SHIT. where the hell has my pride gone too? can someone tell me?

Breaking the Habit!