Tuesday, June 19, 2007

leaving for training later. i dont even want to go. not even the camp. why? i feel useless and tired of it. i know its supposed to be for rvtt. but what has rvtt done for me? other than making me feel so god damn miserable and sick for the past 2 years, i dont see what else it has done. and if u want to say what about the happy times, i might just tell you truthfully that it was just a facade. a big whole lie. we all know those where so rare, even though we are a team. A TEAM. seems ironical to say it like that. perhaps i should say we are sand. just passing through time in our own way. i hardly understand ANYTHING anymore. friends or no friends? team or no team? everything keeps changing in front of me. so fast. so sudden. why can't ppl make up their minds about what they plan to do. one minute, we can all be so angry. and the next minute can be seen with you just making up. you can act cold on one day, and suddenly hot on the other. you say you have a mood. MAN i totally agree. but why can you be the only one with one. when i have one, you say i am ap-ing. it doesn't make sense. really.

Breaking the Habit!