Thursday, May 31, 2007

I waited, so eagerly that I thought my heart will just burst with anticipation. I waited, just like that, for that mere 5 seconds, for the word, "ok" or even a simple "yes". When have I started to become so desperate for just a simple agreement? I seriously don't know. It was probably the time when you left with her, not even looking back. The word I have heard you say a million times, “sorry" just keep ringing in my ears. You didn’t understand how much I wanted you to stay. You didn’t know how much I wanted you to just say "I’ll go with you”. You didn’t know. You went with her to cut her hair, saying it so casually into the mirror. You didn’t know how my heart was bleeding when I heard that. I wanted to ask you to go with me for that simple haircut on that day too. I wanted to ask. However, every time I opened my mouth, I just had to stuff those words back in. Your eyes could no longer see my shadow and your eyes could no longer hear my voice. Your answer was still a “no”. Not only in the past, not only now, but I guess forever. There are so many things I wanted to confide in you, so many things. But they don’t matter anymore. With you appearing less in my life, and with me less appearing in yours, we just have to accommodate that there are differences in each others life. When I see your blog appearing with names and words I have never seen you used in those past 2 years, it just felt like someone just stabbed me in the heart once and again. It just becomes more and more apparent about the ever growing distance. Your answer was a tight slap across my mind and my heart. The tears just kept flowing. It woke me up. It’s probably time to let go. AGAIN.

Breaking the Habit!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

yesterday had training. LOL. only 3 girls come. so basically we slack all the way. SLACKING can seriously be addictive de lor. i can like just slcak through the whole training without feeling guilty. i mean, last time when i start slacking, more then 15 mins i start to feel damn guilty. NOW, i just feel that its like normal.HAIZZ... wad the heck is happening to me?

yesterdat also started learning the DANCE! WHEE! very fun. it makes me reminisce about the good times rvtt used to have. WELL, we still have them.just that they seemed to have lost with time. the dance is not easy man. but for myself and all sec 3 rvtt members, we will try our best! XD

when i started to feel the growing distance between us, i started to grew frightened. u seemed so different, advancing faster and faster in the game of snake and ladders. but i always seemed to fall behind, going down snake after snake. i can never catch up with u. not now, not ever. its the FRIGHT that made me realise how much both of us have changed.u lived ur life now and i lived mine. the CHUMMINESS we used to have seemed to just disappear. it seemed that u were sharing the CHUMMINESS with someone else now. Probably its all my fault, for not learning to treasure you before its too late. now, we are like 2 parallel lines never meeting again. its too late for me anymore. i am being closed out of ur world. one day, when you find that you have no reason to side by me anymore, you will find that we have become TOTAL STRANGERS.

Breaking the Habit!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Just spend the whole of the afternoon in front of my COM!
saw some very nice videos on youtube and realised i am very interesting in GODS. i meant those GREEK and ROMAN!
do u noe the song by SHE yue gui nv shen?
its about the story of 2 GODS, apollo and daphne
Apollo is the GOD OF SUN
DAPHNE is the NYPHM OF WOODLAND.
THIS IS HOW THE STORY GOES:
"Daphne was Apollo’s first love.
It was not brought about by accident, but by the malice of Cupid. Apollo saw the boy playing with his bow and arrows; and being himself elated with his recent victory over Python, he said to him, “What have you to do with warlike weapons, saucy boy? Leave them for hands worthy of them. Behold the conquest I have won by means of them over the vast serpent who stretched his poisonous body over acres of the plain! Be content with your torch, child, and kindle up your flames, as you call them, where you will, but presume not to meddle with my weapons.” Venus’s boy heard these words, and rejoined, “Your arrows may strike all things else, Apollo, but mine shall strike you.” So saying, he took his stand on a rock of Parnassus, and drew from his quiver two arrows of different workmanship, one to excite love, the other to repel it. The former was of gold and sharp pointed, the latter blunt and tipped with lead. With the leaden shaft he struck the nymph Daphne, the daughter of the river god Peneus, and with the golden one Apollo, through the heart. Henceforth the god was seized with love for the maiden, and she abhorred the thought of loving. Her delight was in woodland sports and in the spoils of the chase. Many sought her love, but she spurned them all, ranging the woods. Her father often said to her, “Daughter, you owe me a son-in-law; you owe me grandchildren.” She, hating the thought of marriage as a crime, with her beautiful face tinged all over with blushes, threw her arms around her father’s neck, and said, “Dearest father, grant me this favor, that I may always remain unmarried, like Diana.” He consented, but at the same time said, “Your own face will forbid it.”

"Apollo longed to obtain her; and he who gives oracles to the world was not wise enough to look into his own fortunes. He saw her hair flung loose over her shoulders, and said, “If so charming in disorder, what would it be if arranged?” He saw her eyes bright as stars; he saw her lips, and was not satisfied with only seeing them. He admired her hands and arms, naked to the shoulder, and whatever was hidden from view he imagined more beautiful still. He followed her; she fled, swifter than the wind, and delayed not a moment at his entreaties. “Stay,” said he, “daughter of Peneus; I am not a foe. Do not fly me as a lamb flies the wolf, or a dove the hawk. It is for love I pursue you. You make me miserable, for fear you should fall and hurt yourself on these stones, and I should be the cause. Pray run slower, and I will follow slower. I am no clown, no rude peasant. Jupiter is my father, and I am lord of Delphos and Tenedos, and know all things, present and future. I am the god of song and the lyre. My arrows fly true to the mark; but, alas! an arrow more fatal than mine has pierced my heart! I am the god of medicine, and know the virtues of all healing plants. Alas! I suffer a malady that no balm can cure!
"The nymph continued her flight, and left his plea half uttered. And even as she fled she charmed him. The wind blew her garments, and her unbound hair streamed loose behind her. The god grew impatient to find his wooings thrown away, and, sped by Cupid, gained upon her in the race. It was like a hound pursuing a hare, with open jaws ready to seize, while the feebler animal darts forward, slipping from the very grasp. So flew the god and the virgin—he on the wings of love, and she on those of fear. The pursuer is the more rapid, however, and gains upon her, and his panting breath blows upon her hair. Her strength begins to fail, and, ready to sink, she calls upon her father, the river god: “Help me, Peneus! open the earth to enclose me, or change my form, which has brought me into this danger!” Scarcely had she spoken, when a stiffness seized all her limbs; her bosom began to be enclosed in a tender bark; her hair became leaves; her arms became branches; her foot stuck fast in the ground, as a root; her face became a tree-top, retaining nothing of its former self but its beauty. Apollo stood amazed. He touched the stem, and felt the flesh tremble under the new bark. He embraced the branches, and lavished kisses on the wood. The branches shrank from his lips. “Since you cannot be my wife,” said he, “you shall assuredly be my tree. I will wear you for my crown; I will decorate with you my harp and my quiver; and when the great Roman conquerors lead up the triumphal pomp to the Capitol, you shall be woven into wreaths for their brows. And, as eternal youth is mine, you also shall be always green, and your leaf know no decay.” The nymph, now changed into a Bay laurel tree, bowed its head in grateful acknowledgement."

the Laurel Leafs are also made into a wreath for the olympics.
haizz... so touching...
but actually appollo very flirt de. dunno got how many wives and children. LOL.
this is just one of the more touching de.

Breaking the Habit!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

had a meaningful talk with someone just now.
apparently, i have attained enlightenment AGAIN. LOL
zhijun seems to be attaining enlightenment once too often.
LESSON LEARNT: follow ur HEART. cuz it will be right to u no matter wad. XD
saw his nick. appaerntly he has someone there for him now.
since camp is approaching, i shall take the time to peel him out from my mind.
& to erase wadeva memories that have been left.
HOLIDAYS are so not holidays. pratically flooded with assgiments projects and homework
but since i promised to attain at least 5 As, guess i should start working now?
MY COM IS BACK as everyone should see now.
apparently the internet cant connect becuz my brother pull the wrong thing out.
LOL. cant stand him.
CAMP CAMP CAMP. so fussed out by it. RAHS GAHS RAHS still got performance. so busy le still come extra. *KICKS*
HAVE TO GO row out of homework for tomorrow. TATA!

Breaking the Habit!

Monday, May 21, 2007

SOMETHING IS TOTALLY WRONG WITH BLOGGER.
can't stand it lar.
just did up my holiday schedule and WHEE! other than around 10 days to slack and do homework, i spend the rest going for cca and for other commitments.
WTH.
sianx. after exams still got so many things to do. can u believe we actually have HOMEWORK! WTH.
BORED BORED BORED.
feel like banging my head on the wall.
GAHS!

Breaking the Habit!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

HEYS PPL!!! hahaz... did anyone miss me?
if u all did, go smash my bro's head in the wall.
obviously since april, my com started breaking down and WHEE!
its going to be JUNE 1 and my com is not fixed yet! WTH!!!!
n ITS ALL MY BRO'S FAULT!

well, lets talk about school life.
BORING exams since the last time i remember!
n the amazing fact is that (not that i am trying to boast or anything)
i got like highest in level for history?
so, this just proves that being marked by chia kelli means getting a higher mark
speaking of chia kelli, makes me think of the good old days, when me and jenns went to pester her for tips to get a gd mark for our FIRST ever COUNTED ESSAY!
that was such good days!
remember seeing the nj ppl come back and i didnt see jenns.
JENNINGS if u still come to my blog, I MISS YOU!
better come for TT camp, its on the fourth friday of the holidays!
SMS me for more details (that is if my phone isnt broke XP)

as expected i didnt really do well for exams
maybe cuz i was like slacking even before the day of the exams
i wanna say sorry to mr ang and thank you for giving me one extra mark for the maths paper!
seriously, without him, i might have flunked the paper!

i notice the good thing about being in 3c.
remember how in 2d, i always used to think i am all that big and everything?
guess in 3c, i realised i wasnt.
3c made me wake up alot, and i started to see things in views of others and not myself.
being in 3c also gave me the space and enviroment to make me change myself.
the change i have been talking about since sec2.
i matured. defintely.
its hard not to when you are in 3c.
i am more confident of saying that zhijun is a much better person than she was in 2d.
zhijun hardly beats anyway now(excluding the fact that she cant in 3C), her hands HURT too when she starts to beat.
that was so IMPOSSIBLE when i was in 2d.
3c made me open my eyes and taught me to look at life with a positive light.
being happy go lucky isnt something bad, by learning how to let go of things when you should is a good thing.
you are not the worse of the lot, as there are also someone worser than you.
so basically u can say that zhijun has forgotten all her wadsoeva hatred and stuff that happen in 2d, she just wanna be friends and relax.
i am thankful for 3c for teaching me to grow up and just stop acting like a 3 year
old kid.
i realise 3c made me clever. THANK GOD FOR THAT! being in 3c now looks better than being with 2d, because 2d never did so much for me before. 3c did. THANK YOU
(i am not stating that 2d isnt good. i am just saying wad it had done to me wasnt very impactful as compared to 3c. 2d is still good to me!)


TO ALL SC candidates, i seriously support all of you if u all are doing something that will benefit us in the future. IF U ARE NOT GOING TO DO SO, then just shut the trap with all that crap and stop wasting our time. THANK YOU! JIAYOU TO ALL 2D SCs!

HOT TOPIC: Table tennis! RAHS
just dont wanna turn up for training
realise how boring and stupid it can be
if like only one out of the sec 3 girls team which consist of only like 6 ppl
can turn up for PROPER training, i dont see how this is going to work out.
to some ppl, pls dun take others to make out of an excuse for ur self
passion is not because of others, it comes from withnin. the only thing u are affecting is the rest of your teammates with your silly excuses. you are seriously making us all lose not only passion, but also hope for the team.
(THIS IS NO PERSONAL ATTACK,IF U AIN'T HAPPY WITH WAD U SEE, TELL ME IN MY FACE AND NOT BEHIND MY BACK. thank you)

Breaking the Habit!