Friday, February 09, 2007

i hate to admit it, but i'm afraid. Scared, even. What am i supposed to do? What if i just let every single person in the team down by losing that match. What if i meet Zoey? What if Li Jie just decided to make sure i play doubles. SO many whateverr. My greatest fear is disappointment. I cannot bring myself to face the music when i lose. I just cannot. Fear is enveloping me from head to toe, taking control of my every move. My limbs are turning flaccid, into lumps of wobbling jelly. My brain is malfunctioning, even though it's not supposed to. No codes or numbers were programmed into my brain, as NO codes or numbers represent FEAR. I want to be fearless.How good will that be!I want to contain no emotions. Nothing that can make me repel. I can't afford to lose. Everything is at stake. It's a simple equation. I win or I lose.

Breaking the Habit!