Monday, November 06, 2006

once i had a very good friend
her name was lian ping
to me she was everything
i couldnt continue my life without her
becuz she became so important to me that i felt that i was one with her
once (i hoped) she had felt the same way towards me
then she started to change
her friendship changed direction
and started to blow with another wind in another course
her name was jengyi
jengyi...
someone who was always a threat to me
no matter wad
i had a feeling she was competiting with me
art, something that once was my favourite subject
something that i was best at
she took it all away from me
everything
even studies
everytime i won her in another subject
she made sure i would lose to her the next time
and she will boast in front of me
she changed
once she was not like that
she acted very pitiful in front of lian ping
trying to win over wadeva lianping still held from me
and she did it
now i no longer hold any connection with 6c
becuz wad i once trusted most left me
alone...
making use of the time i was in usa
jeng yi manage to completely bring her over to her side
so much that when we got our results back
lianping first person to ask to what school u will be going to was her
not me
in fact if i am not wrong she seemed to completely forget my existence
she changed
the person i once thought i knew most suddenly became unfamiliar to me
at that point of time all i felt was a sense of betrayal
and a huge sharp pang in heart
last year
6c reniunion
i didnt want to go
but something told me i will regret if i didnt
so even though i was dead tired
i drag myself to ang mo kio
and deeply regreted when i reached there
becuz wad lian ping and jengyi wore were like couple clothes
obviously something they had agreed on earlier
becuz they wore jeans
jeans
to a bbq
and poor lonely me could only tok to meizhen
i feel tired just having the thought of going to aitong
becuz i dunno wad to expect
to see her boasting face in mine?
to feel that healed scar in my heart tear up again?
i dunno
in fact from the start i dun even noe wad i had done wrong
y am i the one stuck with this feeling
y
when the feelings i gave were the most pure and true of them all
why?

Breaking the Habit!